WEDNESDAY UPDATE ON THREE SIDES OF ANA EPISODE 99
Tio is filled with emotion at finding his niece. Soulless is also filled with emotion, albeit on the opposite spectrum. She wants to talk to AnaLu before she speaks to him, but AnaLu’s had enough of her. They go elsewhere, and he offers to talk over dinner. She’d rather not leave her mom alone just yet, so they decide to address things tomorrow. AnaLu admires her Tio's eyes (yea, we're with you on that honey) . They both have light eyes ( ojos claros ), she now understands why she looks so different from her “mother”. He tells her that the last time he saw her she was about 4, and that her father passed away a long time ago. She wants to know why he abandoned her, did he think of her and love her? (¿por qué me dejó? ¿El pensaba en mí y me quería?) , but TioM assures that her papa adored her. Maribel interrupts looking like she walked out of a Jane Fonda workout video, and says they need to talk. AnaLu can't be bothered with Bloody Mari, but TioM's gotta jet & will come back for her the following day. Mariblood waits for her in her room. TioM needs a hug & kiss but AnaLu is boundary-conscious (unlike a certain sobrina) , and gives him a friendly embrace. Teardrops, yada yada. TioM turns to see Rem, tells her ( voy a arreglar cuentas con su hijado ) he's going to sort her godson out. ( Viewerville gets tingly all over ).
Sole has been spying and approaches, but AnaLu refuses to speak to her. Rem is told that the Tio plans to tell all, but she needs Rem to convince AnaLu to listen to her first. She goes in & locks the door forcing AnaLu to sit. AnaLu doesn't trust any of them, even Santi has admitted to lying to her. Her mom had chances to come clean, but it's too late. The people she loved most in the world lied and hid things ( Las personas que más amo en el mundo me mienten y me están ocultando cosas). She's depending on TioM to clear up all doubt. Rem figures if she won't listen to her mom, maybe she'll hear it from Santi. AnaLu loves a good pretext to see her hunkaliciousness, so off they go.
Curvas is asking Rem what she thinks of him being Santi’s bouncer ( guarura ), or blood brother ( carnal ). Rem simply asks Curvature to take care of her little boy. Curvaceous is all, “no problemo, that’s the point of this stint ( changa), I'm gonna be all over this guy day & night”. Santi's like “Uh yeah, not so much buddy”. Then he gets the bat signal from Ram, Curvalicious leaps up for duty. But Santi conveniently leaves his security guard behind. Rem crosses Santi, but totally forgot the holy water and the rest of her exorcism toolkit. There's a whole awkward I love you scene between them, as they look into each other's eyes ( mayhap for the last time). Curveballs looks at Rem like she took his puppy away, and she has a grave look on her face.
AnaLetrocious is putting her lingerie back on –oh my mal, looks like she's leaving like that, must be her work attire. ( Still can't tell the difference ). Inaki wants them to stop with the hotels & have their rendez at his depa. She prefers hotels, they add a little something (yes, bed bugs and dirty sheets, super romantic ). Besides, she doesn't want them caught by anyone they know. She reminds him of his search for AnaLu (Tú tienes que averiguar dónde vive Ana Lucía). He salutes. ( Viewerville is all ay yi yi, Captain). AnaLet says she likes his obedience. ( Funnily, the caption for the next scene pops up under Inaki's face: Ramiro - “You idiot” . Ha, you betcha ).
Ram lets Santi in & updates him on Oily's fists of fury with Maribel. After some shoving around, the Grease Monkey is forced to “confess” that after he saw them arguing at the vacant lot ( Yo los vi discutiendo en el terreno baldío), he overheard Dani saying he'll make Santi pay & decided to comfront him, which led to a fight. He pleads self-defense, but Santi is struggling with a migraine (must be the gas fumes emanating off of Pennzoil -tnx toa). Ram is biting his nails for what he knows is coming. (Viewerville is biting into popcorn, b/c yay finally the good stuff ). Mr.Hyde/Marcelo is now out & about, with his fists out. They must be laced with truth serum b/c Oil of Olay says olé! He admits Ev's behind all of it, Marc throws Oily on his back like a flipped turtle. He wants to know everything, or he'll send Ev a present: Oily's head in a box, a la the movie Se7en. ( Viewerville prefers it on a stick, so we can light it for our TVA Tiki party! ). Marc covers our turtle's mouth to see if he can breathe through his butt, Ram doesn't think this is a good idea.
Marc punches his bestie. Oily takes this chance to skidaddle, but Marc whips out his pistol (No, this isn't Justin Bieber you guys). Ram would rather send him to jail, Marc would rather he kill him where his corpse can't be found ( donde nadie encuentre su cuerpo), Oily wants neither. ( Viewerville tosses a coin, Deads or Jails ). The bromantic couple, with their pressing chesticles, play tug-of-war with the gun. Oily takes advantage & kicks the weapon out of Marc's hand. He gives them a power-point on “gun control” ( Get it? Cuz he's in control of the gun he's pointing now, oh the pundemonium! Ok guarever, moving on).
Marc tells him he's got that one shot before he goes Level 5 Jackie Chan. Ram, on the otra mano, tries to reason but Mr. Sunoco's gone loco. He protests that Marc was going to kill him. Marc corrects that he IS going to kill him (Viewerville is tickled by this exchange). Oily wastes no time upon hearing this and lets the gun speak on his behalf. Just then Rem runs in, with AnaLu behind her. She jumps in & does the whole “taking the bullet” trope. ( Where was Rem when Kennedy got shot? ). Marc catches her & does the whole “dying in a loved one's arms” trope. ( Hey, are we still tabulating cliches? ).
Inaki gets a visit from pops. Tadeo confronts him about the prostitute biz he's got going on. (Viewerville wonders if he wants to make it a Father & Son ). Inaki figures Javier was the chismocito, while Tadeo figures Julieta is the ATM service. Inaki gives him a gold star, Ghoulieta is giving him everything Tadeo couldn't. He & Javi are just worried—Inaki’s like “yeah, yeah I know the old song” ( Ya me sé la cantaleta). Just then, he opens his door and says he heard something like a gunshot (sonó como un disparo). Tadeo is more concerned with whether or not Javier was told she was their mom when he met her. Inaki doesn't want her near him either, that's why he let Javi think she was a “client”. Tadeo wants her away from them. Inaki doesn't want his dad to meddle, he's well aware that she's using him. This is just a job, but Tadeo worries he'll get hurt. Maybe he wasn't the perfect dad, but he's always been there. Inaki wants to go to bed, he suggests his pop grab from the drawer whatever money he feels compensates him for his “fatherly duties” and to never come back. ( Just realized they captioned Tadeo as Anibal all this time. Viewerville slaps Uni like the Incredible Edna. Pull yourself together, man! ). Tad Dad leaves everything he has out of his wallet on the table. ( Prostitution etiquette, and what not). It's a few dollars and a fam photo. ( Viewerville air-hugs him, poor guy).
Back to Ram's depa. ( Viewerville is in a panic). Many cuts to black in between faces of despair. ( Viewerville hits the side of their TV just in case ). AnaLu runs to Rem's side on the floor. Oily claims he didn't mean to hurt her. Ram tries to take back the gun, Oily refuses and claims it was self-defense. Ram appeases him in agreement. Oily continues to point the gun & asks AnaLu to forgive him as he moonwalks it outta there. The remaining 3 amigos huddle around Rem like a cozy fire, and just then decide “Like hey, we should call an ambulance”. ( Should? What are you proclaiming on about? Go frickin' do it! ). No surprise, Ram's having a hard time explaining to Mexican 911 ( he keeps this up, he'll end up on Mexico's Dumbest Crank Calls ). Rem looks at Marcelo's “loving” gaze and mistakes him for Santi.
Marc says she shouldn't have given her life to him. She tells him she's her son too & loves him. He cries, the pain Santi feels is too strong & (estoy compartiendo su dolor) he's forced to share it ( Oh, just what a dying mama wants to hear). She's happy that at least the shot didn't come from him. Marc and AnaLu ask her to save her strength, but she's in monologue-mode & you can't stop that train once it gets-a-chugging. She speaks of loving him and him not being a bad man. She asks of AnaLu not to abandon him and to forgive him. She has to love him as he is, two parts of a whole (las dos partes son una sola). AnaLu gives his shoulder a squeeze. Rem suddenly goes unconscious, and just then Santi appears. He cries for his madrina not to leave him. Distress all around. ( Viewerville is out of Kleenex ). Ram says the ambulance is on its way ( Yay, they cracked his code! ). Santi continue to plead for Rem to fight. When they take her away unto a gurney, Santi hops in the ambulance with her, while Ram and AnaLu drive behind.
TioM convinces Erne to give up AnaLu's bracelet. After all, it's a fake & there's no sense in keeping something painful. They discuss AnaLaDiDa's confession that it was AnaLet who caused the accident and has nightmares ( tiene pesadillas ), as well as Leo's divulging her frequent visits to the memory chamber ( looks like everyone's loose-lipped all of a sudden ). TioM assesses she lied to them (nos mintió), Erne is like “No, don't say it like that”. ( Viewerville throws popcorn, bird is the word!). “She was a little girl” ( Huh? Her lie was recent. Do you always call adult women in Victoria Secret “little girls”? ). They both ultimately agree she needs help. (About time).
TioM bumps into AnaLet on his way out. He takes her outside, wanting to know why she never told him she saw AnaLu & that she's her hubster's bugaboo. She did try to tell him, she begged not to be left alone ( Te supliqué que no me dejaras sola) but Viri was his only priority. He asks her not to blame Viri, he was stuck in his own issues. She didn't even know how to tell him, nor understand how she feels. She saw them kiss, and has gone ballistic ever since: dying with rage and sickening jealousy ( muriendo de rabia y de celos que me enferman ). The sister she missed and cried for is the woman stealing her hub's love. TioM apologizes & promises to make her his priority. She makes him do a yoga chant of “You're the most important beyosh I know”. He throws in a “Ana Lucia, too”. She no likey. ( Welp, least Ana Laura isn't part of this equation). Then TioM remembers to mention that he's fulfilling his promise to take care of ALL tres veces Anas. ( It's in his Uni contract). He wants the girls to forgive each other, and eject Marcelo from their lives. He suggests she get a divorce, and he won't let AnaLu have him either. AnaLet cries about always losing. ( Really? Seems you get your way more than a google map ). She calls AnaLu shameless, but TioM refuses to let her speak this way. They both need to talk first, but she doesn't know where she is and wonders if he does. TioM is wise enough ( A gut instinct? ) to feign ignorance. She promises him she'll keep this quiet and drapes herself all over him as she kisses him goodnight. AnaLet makes it her mission to find AnaLu before he does. She must disappear.
Solebad meets Chana asking for Evaristo. Chana says since he's tired from all the exams, to try mañana. Sole can't wait, by then TioM will be there with the police. She's been caught and needs to escape with AnaLu out of town tonight, even if she has to ( llevo a la fuerza ) take her by force. ( Viewerville ditches the popcorn throwing, and chucks the whole bowl at her ). Chana plans to take her, but hopes she'll convince her not to make this mistake. TioM will follow her to hell itself if he has to ( te va a perseguir hasta el mismísimo infierno ), now that he knows she's alive. Sole is shivering in her chancletas . They head out to find his Omnipotence.
Oily drives off to a secluded area to make a phone call. Ev is in his recámara. He hears ringing and looks around in a daze before he realizes it's not coming from inside his cabeza. He answers to a bumbling Oily, Ev asks who this is, but Oily continues stammering and confesses to killing her by mistake. When Ev asks who he's talking about, he mentions Remedios. He calls her his comadre (co-parent, which is weird considering they never mentioned her being a godmother to his kids). Edit: Comadre is the spanish equivalent of comrade. *Insert Reading Rainbow Shooting Star* The More You Know...
Ev is furious and after getting the address to meet, he grabs his gun unaware of who this dang guy is, but certain he'll be sorry ( No sé quién maldito seas, pero te vas a arrepentir ). Ev's dementia is going to lead him to chasing squirrels in the park, or sitting in a confession booth that's actually a zoo den. Here's hoping he finds the greasy turtle, and both eliminate each other like a math fraction.
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